But, unlike the great unwashed masses, when we get insulation we make a film about it.
Watch it if only to ensure we can write off the entire expense as "set decoration".
Thanks!
December 29, 2011
December 16, 2011
What hapened to the Occupy Movement?
If you still want to occupy something, try your own money, Circulate it and send a message to the Fat Cats in Washington. Here's how...
December 11, 2011
Kevin's Cool New Blog
And, even though millions of records were sold, Cool Record Holders are unique. There will never be another like the one you have. You do have one don't you?
You should really check them out and buy one!
Record Holders, headquartered in San Diego, California, was founded by Kevin Six in 2011. It all began at a thrift store with a bunch of under-used records and an idea to give old vinyl new life.
December 8, 2011
Recycled Records and Repurposed Vinyl
Record Holders! (http://coolrecordholers.blogspot.com/) sells, well, cool record holders. Records made into boxes, bowls, pencil holders and... well. It's just a really coo concept.
See for yourself! Click a photo and go crazy!
December 2, 2011
The OccupyThisDollar Video
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November 28, 2011
November 25, 2011
Thanksgiving 2011.wmv
This is the tail end of my discussion with Gary Rader and friends about how you just can't say certain people's names without really over-pronouncing them. Some of those names include Antonio Banderas as well as...
November 22, 2011
Kevin Six in SD City Beat and Alt Weekly
The Occupy This Dollar movement is in full swing!
http://www.altweeklies.com/aan/kevin-sixs-occupy-this-dollar-movement/Story?oid=5360328
http://www.sdcitybeat.com/sandiego/blog-610-kevin-sixs-occupy-th.html
http://www.altweeklies.com/aan/kevin-sixs-occupy-this-dollar-movement/Story?oid=5360328
http://www.sdcitybeat.com/sandiego/blog-610-kevin-sixs-occupy-th.html
November 19, 2011
Occupy This Dollar
Finally, a way for people who have more money than patience to occupy something.
Go to the Occupy This Dollar, download the labels and send an occupied dollar to your representatives today!
It's simple, really. Politicians only care about money. So send them a dollar with a label on it. You can make a statement with as little as one dollar.
All you have to do is
Download the Occupy This Dollar labels, print them (Avery 5160) and stick them on US $1 bills
Then Send them to your representatives
Quite a statement if thousands of one dollar messages start arriving in the mail, eh?
I live in San Diego, California so my list is of everyone from the San Diego City Council up to the President. Download it here.
If you live in San Diego, please feel free to download and use this list. If not, please find yours here.
Thank you for joining Occupy This Dollar!
Go to the Occupy This Dollar, download the labels and send an occupied dollar to your representatives today!
Welcome to Occupy This Dollar!
All you have to do is
Download the Occupy This Dollar labels, print them (Avery 5160) and stick them on US $1 bills
Then Send them to your representatives
Quite a statement if thousands of one dollar messages start arriving in the mail, eh?
I live in San Diego, California so my list is of everyone from the San Diego City Council up to the President. Download it here.
If you live in San Diego, please feel free to download and use this list. If not, please find yours here.
Thank you for joining Occupy This Dollar!
November 17, 2011
How to have a play reading
I have been in a lot of play readings and seen more. I have been involved in readings for 30 years as actor, audience member, writer and producer. So I think I know what I'm talking about when I tell you how to have a play reading
Actors: Hire professional actors and pay them if you can
Actors know how to read plays and, especially, how to read them aloud. They can take direction with little or no explanation. Actors also ask very good questions about scripts and they will make choices like actors. Non actors and playwrights (unless they are also professional actors) not so much. Plays were meant to be acted so have actors involved as early as possible.
Directors: Don't direct.
What? Really? Yes! This is not the place or the time to make a statement. A reading is for audiences, playwrights and theatre decision makers to hear the play. That's it.
Playwrights: Don't act or direct.
If you are an actor or a director and a playwright you already know this. You want to sit in the audience and hear the play with everyone else. You also want to watch the audience and their reactions. If you're not an actor or a director, you need to know that actors and directors don't like playwrights to tell them what to do as much as playwrights don't like actors, directors and audience members to tell them what or how to write. Also actors hate being given a line reading; that is when you show them how to say a given line. It's like an actor spelling the word "the" for you.
Audience members: Don't rewrite the play.
If the opportunity to discuss the play arises, please remember that the playwright is the writing specialist in the room -- even if you happen to be a playwright. Remember that the writer is interested in your experience as an audience member. If you have a bunch of great ideas about how the play should go, please write a play and have a reading. Before you do, please read the above.
Thanks!
Kevin Six
Actors: Hire professional actors and pay them if you can
Actors know how to read plays and, especially, how to read them aloud. They can take direction with little or no explanation. Actors also ask very good questions about scripts and they will make choices like actors. Non actors and playwrights (unless they are also professional actors) not so much. Plays were meant to be acted so have actors involved as early as possible.
Directors: Don't direct.
What? Really? Yes! This is not the place or the time to make a statement. A reading is for audiences, playwrights and theatre decision makers to hear the play. That's it.
Playwrights: Don't act or direct.
If you are an actor or a director and a playwright you already know this. You want to sit in the audience and hear the play with everyone else. You also want to watch the audience and their reactions. If you're not an actor or a director, you need to know that actors and directors don't like playwrights to tell them what to do as much as playwrights don't like actors, directors and audience members to tell them what or how to write. Also actors hate being given a line reading; that is when you show them how to say a given line. It's like an actor spelling the word "the" for you.
Audience members: Don't rewrite the play.
If the opportunity to discuss the play arises, please remember that the playwright is the writing specialist in the room -- even if you happen to be a playwright. Remember that the writer is interested in your experience as an audience member. If you have a bunch of great ideas about how the play should go, please write a play and have a reading. Before you do, please read the above.
Thanks!
Kevin Six
November 16, 2011
Occupy This Dollar, People!
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November 11, 2011
Paterno, Sandusky and What We Now Know
One of the most interesting things about this whole child sexual abuse scandal is how it has unfolded on Sports Talk Radio. This is a testosterone-laden man fest all day on the radio and I listen on occasion because I am a Chargers fan.
I heard more than one sportscaster speak frankly about his feelings this week. I have heard grown men come to terms with child sexual abuse in front of a radio audience and about 99% of them did so with intelligence and humility.
I imagine it was not an easy topic for these men who never expected to talk, let alone share their feelings about it. But the very nature of the crime is so personal, so troublesome and has so many affected parties that it is impossible to take emotions out of the equation. And that's OK.
The sportscasting public and their loyal listeners have learned lessons that I have learned as a member of a Planned Parenthood theatre troupe 30 years ago -- and it's still hard for me to talk about. But we learned some things that we hope we never have to use:
Feelings: We heard about this third hand. It didn't happen to us and we didn't witness it. But just hearing about it brings up so many emotions. Pity, anger, fear, anger, anger, anger. And each one of us witnesses and everyone involved has every right to feel any and all of those emotions. I think it's better that we talk about them as has been done on talk radio lately but everyone is different. But no one can tell us how to feel and when to feel it. This is our right.
Responsibility: The word victim is going to be brought up a lot and I want to be clear that when I speak of victims, I am speaking about the children who were abused. Not the perpetrator who, it will come out in trial, was also a victim of abuse. Once he became an adult, his responsibilities changed. The child victims are the only ones who do not have the responsibility to report the crime. There are many reasons for this but basically it is because they are children in shock. Every other adult who was involved, however peripherally, in the Penn State Scandal failed. The adults who witnessed the abuse, heard the stories and those who held positions of responsibility failed and should be punished according to the laws and societal standards we have in place for such things.
The old boy network that is Penn State Athletics protected itself and has been dismantled because of it. In its place is a wearier, wiser organization that understands their reporting responsibilities only too well. As do we. We have all thought about what we'd do. But just in case you were wondering, here it is.
Reporting:
1. If you hear about child abuse and child sexual abuse it is no longer good enough to report it to a superior. You must also take it upon yourself to inform the local authorities and follow up. You must do this regardless of how you are coerced to keep silent, to protect the network, to think of the families, to trust your superiors.
2. If you witness child abuse or child sexual abuse and you are an adult it is your right and responsibility to use any means necessary to stop it immediately. Ask Mike McQueary about that; he witnessed a man sexually abusing a child while a graduate assistant at Penn State. Sure he was young, probably shocked beyond belief and probably very low on the coaching totem pole. He told his superiors and trusted them but did nothing to protect the victim in the moment. He lives with the results of his inaction. And people want to kill him.
3. If you are a child to whom this has happened, you should be able to tell an adult about this and have your dignity retained. You should be able to be safe. You should also, and this might be the hardest part for the rest of us, be able not to pursue action. What would you do?
We know this now. We have all thought what we'd do if we were in two of these situations and we all hope no one we love is ever in the third. But our job for that person is to love, support and respect him or her. Out reporting responsibility is clear. We must assume we are the only one reporting and following up on that report.
I heard more than one sportscaster speak frankly about his feelings this week. I have heard grown men come to terms with child sexual abuse in front of a radio audience and about 99% of them did so with intelligence and humility.
I imagine it was not an easy topic for these men who never expected to talk, let alone share their feelings about it. But the very nature of the crime is so personal, so troublesome and has so many affected parties that it is impossible to take emotions out of the equation. And that's OK.
The sportscasting public and their loyal listeners have learned lessons that I have learned as a member of a Planned Parenthood theatre troupe 30 years ago -- and it's still hard for me to talk about. But we learned some things that we hope we never have to use:
Feelings: We heard about this third hand. It didn't happen to us and we didn't witness it. But just hearing about it brings up so many emotions. Pity, anger, fear, anger, anger, anger. And each one of us witnesses and everyone involved has every right to feel any and all of those emotions. I think it's better that we talk about them as has been done on talk radio lately but everyone is different. But no one can tell us how to feel and when to feel it. This is our right.
Responsibility: The word victim is going to be brought up a lot and I want to be clear that when I speak of victims, I am speaking about the children who were abused. Not the perpetrator who, it will come out in trial, was also a victim of abuse. Once he became an adult, his responsibilities changed. The child victims are the only ones who do not have the responsibility to report the crime. There are many reasons for this but basically it is because they are children in shock. Every other adult who was involved, however peripherally, in the Penn State Scandal failed. The adults who witnessed the abuse, heard the stories and those who held positions of responsibility failed and should be punished according to the laws and societal standards we have in place for such things.
The old boy network that is Penn State Athletics protected itself and has been dismantled because of it. In its place is a wearier, wiser organization that understands their reporting responsibilities only too well. As do we. We have all thought about what we'd do. But just in case you were wondering, here it is.
Reporting:
1. If you hear about child abuse and child sexual abuse it is no longer good enough to report it to a superior. You must also take it upon yourself to inform the local authorities and follow up. You must do this regardless of how you are coerced to keep silent, to protect the network, to think of the families, to trust your superiors.
2. If you witness child abuse or child sexual abuse and you are an adult it is your right and responsibility to use any means necessary to stop it immediately. Ask Mike McQueary about that; he witnessed a man sexually abusing a child while a graduate assistant at Penn State. Sure he was young, probably shocked beyond belief and probably very low on the coaching totem pole. He told his superiors and trusted them but did nothing to protect the victim in the moment. He lives with the results of his inaction. And people want to kill him.
3. If you are a child to whom this has happened, you should be able to tell an adult about this and have your dignity retained. You should be able to be safe. You should also, and this might be the hardest part for the rest of us, be able not to pursue action. What would you do?
We know this now. We have all thought what we'd do if we were in two of these situations and we all hope no one we love is ever in the third. But our job for that person is to love, support and respect him or her. Out reporting responsibility is clear. We must assume we are the only one reporting and following up on that report.
October 30, 2011
Shakespeare and Anonymous
Another film about Shakespeare is here and this one (gasp) puts forth the authorship question. The film Anonymous, which carries the tag line "was Shakespeare a Fraud?", was summed up by the San Diego Reader's David Elliott thusly, "Here is a film for people who hated Shakespeare in school, who think that iambic pentameter was taught in geometry, and guess that the first Hamlet was, uh... Simon Cowell? The movie, to its shame, enshrines ignorance about Shakespeare."
I'm going to see it. I love Shakespeare and watching scenes of his, in the period setting, is what gets me going -- regardless of who wrote them. Then there is the virtual cavalcade of Shakespearean actors to be seen: OK only Vanessa Redgrave and Derek Jacobi but they're worth the price of admission alone.
So there are the period settings, the costumes, two great actors and three or four really good ones. Done. Now, for the arguments...
Many Oxfordians believe that Shakespeare could not have written the plays, sonnets and poems attributed to him because he only had a grade school education, was a simple tradesman and was an actor. Oddly, these are about the only facts extant about perhaps the greatest writer in the English language -- and the same Stratfordian arguments for his authorship as well. I will take them in order...
Grade School
In Elizabethan England, grade school was 10-hours, six days a week of Latin and Greek and has been likened to a modern Masters degree.
Tradesman
Shakespeare's father John was a Glover and an alderman who tried most of his life to become a gentleman. William ran off to be an actor and returned to Stratford a sharer in the best theatre troupe in London, purchased the largest house in town and got his family a coat of arms.
Actor
Actors in Shakespeare's time had to have an immense amount of words in their heads. They performed a different play every night and many parts in each play. Imagine TV but live, with a limited number of actors. Oh, and they all danced and sang too. So an actor would have an immense vocabulary, understand plots and characters, and know how to put them together.
But only a genius could create the characters who said these lines and Shakespeare, whether he was a Glover from Stratford, the Earl of Oxford or the Queen herself (oh, yes that's a theory too). I offer three nice sources on the authorship question:
How Shakespeare Changed Everything by Stephen Marche.
This brief and witty book shares all the things Shakespeare brought into the world and some of the funny outcomes of actions by Shakespeare fans. States that no one has ever been granted permission to write a masters' thesis on the Oxfordian argument.
My Name is Will by Jess Winfield
You might recognize the name of one of the founders of the Reduced Shakespeare Company and
authors of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged. His story is simply the best look into the life and times of William Shakespeare even thought the journey is taken by a dude on mushrooms at a Renaissance fair in northern California.
The Beard of Avon by Amy Freed
Tough going as a playwright to write a play that has Shakespeare, the Earl of Oxford, the Queen and possibly a few others as authors of the Bards work. Tough because most theatres are Stratfordian and too few have produced it. But read this play, even if you can't see it. It brings Shakespeare to life as well as his theatrical partners and his witty wife.
If you want to have the argument, see the film, read the above and get ready. It will be hard to change any one's mind. After all the huffing and puffing, though, take your opponent to see a play!
Kevin Six is an actor, playwright and a self-described actorian who believes Shakespeare wrote his plays but had help from the actors in his troupe. He can be found at www.KevinSix.com.
I'm going to see it. I love Shakespeare and watching scenes of his, in the period setting, is what gets me going -- regardless of who wrote them. Then there is the virtual cavalcade of Shakespearean actors to be seen: OK only Vanessa Redgrave and Derek Jacobi but they're worth the price of admission alone.
So there are the period settings, the costumes, two great actors and three or four really good ones. Done. Now, for the arguments...
Many Oxfordians believe that Shakespeare could not have written the plays, sonnets and poems attributed to him because he only had a grade school education, was a simple tradesman and was an actor. Oddly, these are about the only facts extant about perhaps the greatest writer in the English language -- and the same Stratfordian arguments for his authorship as well. I will take them in order...
Grade School
In Elizabethan England, grade school was 10-hours, six days a week of Latin and Greek and has been likened to a modern Masters degree.
Tradesman
Shakespeare's father John was a Glover and an alderman who tried most of his life to become a gentleman. William ran off to be an actor and returned to Stratford a sharer in the best theatre troupe in London, purchased the largest house in town and got his family a coat of arms.
Actor
Actors in Shakespeare's time had to have an immense amount of words in their heads. They performed a different play every night and many parts in each play. Imagine TV but live, with a limited number of actors. Oh, and they all danced and sang too. So an actor would have an immense vocabulary, understand plots and characters, and know how to put them together.
But only a genius could create the characters who said these lines and Shakespeare, whether he was a Glover from Stratford, the Earl of Oxford or the Queen herself (oh, yes that's a theory too). I offer three nice sources on the authorship question:
How Shakespeare Changed Everything by Stephen Marche.
This brief and witty book shares all the things Shakespeare brought into the world and some of the funny outcomes of actions by Shakespeare fans. States that no one has ever been granted permission to write a masters' thesis on the Oxfordian argument.
My Name is Will by Jess Winfield
You might recognize the name of one of the founders of the Reduced Shakespeare Company and
authors of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged. His story is simply the best look into the life and times of William Shakespeare even thought the journey is taken by a dude on mushrooms at a Renaissance fair in northern California.
The Beard of Avon by Amy Freed
Tough going as a playwright to write a play that has Shakespeare, the Earl of Oxford, the Queen and possibly a few others as authors of the Bards work. Tough because most theatres are Stratfordian and too few have produced it. But read this play, even if you can't see it. It brings Shakespeare to life as well as his theatrical partners and his witty wife.
If you want to have the argument, see the film, read the above and get ready. It will be hard to change any one's mind. After all the huffing and puffing, though, take your opponent to see a play!
Kevin Six is an actor, playwright and a self-described actorian who believes Shakespeare wrote his plays but had help from the actors in his troupe. He can be found at www.KevinSix.com.
October 16, 2011
GoPro Camera on Flying Trapeze
This is the last of my trapeze videos from September, 2011. In this one, I play with head-band camera shots. I took video while flying and catching and combined them so you can see what it looks like flying to and being caught by me.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: Catch and Return a Flying Trapeze Film by Kevin Six
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: Catch and Return a Flying Trapeze Film by Kevin Six
October 9, 2011
Fiber Arts Festival at the Antique Gas & Steam Engine Museum
Ok, so, first: such a totaly cool property. Where else can you see steam tractors, Model A Trucks, a blacksmith shop run by belts attached to a steeam engine and old looms with people making rugs and cloth? The answer is nowhere else than the Antique Gas & Steam Engine Museum.
You need to go if you have any testosterone on your system.
I was there doing research for a production of A Middsummer Night's Dream. No, really. You see, my contention is that Nick Bottom, the weaver, wove the play from his own fantasy after selling some silk cloth to Hyppolita. Think about it...
So here are a few photos and comments...
There were Alpacas giving wool. These cute little crestures hafe very soft wool. They also have soft teeth and feet (for climbing mountains) so they're softer on the land on which they tread and feed.
Spinners spinning. This noce woman was working on a wheel made by her husband in the 70s. She told me all I wanted to know about spinning, weaving and community organizing around teaching kids to spin and weave. Lots of great ideas about The Dream...
And weavers weaving. It was cool! Of course you know that Nick Bottom was a weaver and it is my assertion that Hyppolita came to him for cloth for a wedding dress and started the whole fantasy upon which the dream is based. You see, he tells his friend PEter Quince to write him a ballad based on this strange dream he had in which Hyppolita was also Queen of the Fairies and he got tro hang with her (and all his friends were Fairies). More on that later.
So my idea is to use human-powered items (like spinning wheels) to provide light and sound for the only Midsummer Night's Dream that the audience has to sun to keep up with.
So I was there to get some process going with regards to The Dream -- weavers weaving, tinkers tinking and joiners joining. There are w few Weavers' Guilds here in San Diego county and I expect to get a hold of them and find out how they help, educate and share with us. More soon -- espeially on all the other cool stuff at the museum! More soon...
You need to go if you have any testosterone on your system.
I was there doing research for a production of A Middsummer Night's Dream. No, really. You see, my contention is that Nick Bottom, the weaver, wove the play from his own fantasy after selling some silk cloth to Hyppolita. Think about it...
So here are a few photos and comments...
There were Alpacas giving wool. These cute little crestures hafe very soft wool. They also have soft teeth and feet (for climbing mountains) so they're softer on the land on which they tread and feed.
So my idea is to use human-powered items (like spinning wheels) to provide light and sound for the only Midsummer Night's Dream that the audience has to sun to keep up with.
So I was there to get some process going with regards to The Dream -- weavers weaving, tinkers tinking and joiners joining. There are w few Weavers' Guilds here in San Diego county and I expect to get a hold of them and find out how they help, educate and share with us. More soon -- espeially on all the other cool stuff at the museum! More soon...
October 8, 2011
The Wake Surfing Film of the Century
I don't need to say more.
But I will.
This film was an honor and a triumph to make. it took blood, swet, tears and a whole lotta love to produce. Many thanks to my beloved wife, Jennie, the crew and the people of Scandia Minnesota who had a festival just for me, which they call Taco Days -- and which I call Kevin Six Presents Taco Days but that's a film to be released at a later date.
Tonight, we bring you the wake surfing film of the century. A little film I like to call:
The Wake Surfing Film of the Century
Cast:
Kevin Six..........................Kevin Six
Jennie Olson Six................Jennie Olson Six
Sherri Mann......................Sherri Mann
Shawn Klancke..................Shawn Klancke
Katrina Nord......................Katrina Nord
Kiki Mann..........................A midget who looks just like her (no child labor laws broken)
Rusty and Tinkerbell..........Themselves
Crew
Director, producer, writer and all around cool guy.........Kevin Six
Camera.......................Kevin Six, Jennie Olson Six, Katrina Nord
Boat Drivers....................................Shawn Klancke, Sherri Mann
Water Safety..............................Shawn Klnacke and Sherri Mann
Stunt coordinator...........................................................Kevin Six
Executive Producer...................................................Chuck Mann
Special Thanks to: The lovely people of Scandia Minnesota, the Embrace Adrenaline Trapeze Club, the Marine on St. Croix water patrol who totally pulled us over, MasterCraft Boats, GoPro cameras, Shane Foss who surfs very well but not on video and Kali Mann who... Kali, where were you?
But I will.
This film was an honor and a triumph to make. it took blood, swet, tears and a whole lotta love to produce. Many thanks to my beloved wife, Jennie, the crew and the people of Scandia Minnesota who had a festival just for me, which they call Taco Days -- and which I call Kevin Six Presents Taco Days but that's a film to be released at a later date.
Tonight, we bring you the wake surfing film of the century. A little film I like to call:
The Wake Surfing Film of the Century
Cast:
Kevin Six..........................Kevin Six
Jennie Olson Six................Jennie Olson Six
Sherri Mann......................Sherri Mann
Shawn Klancke..................Shawn Klancke
Katrina Nord......................Katrina Nord
Kiki Mann..........................A midget who looks just like her (no child labor laws broken)
Rusty and Tinkerbell..........Themselves
Crew
Director, producer, writer and all around cool guy.........Kevin Six
Camera.......................Kevin Six, Jennie Olson Six, Katrina Nord
Boat Drivers....................................Shawn Klancke, Sherri Mann
Water Safety..............................Shawn Klnacke and Sherri Mann
Stunt coordinator...........................................................Kevin Six
Executive Producer...................................................Chuck Mann
Special Thanks to: The lovely people of Scandia Minnesota, the Embrace Adrenaline Trapeze Club, the Marine on St. Croix water patrol who totally pulled us over, MasterCraft Boats, GoPro cameras, Shane Foss who surfs very well but not on video and Kali Mann who... Kali, where were you?
October 7, 2011
Why I Love Kym Pappas
1. She is beautiful
I know this is not supposed to be the number one reason that people love one another but let's face it is. Besides, the beauty of which I speak is more than skin-deep. Her beauty starts in her soul and radiates out to the Universe. Who wouldn't love that?
2. She is just so ful of love
You know with some people. They are just loving. Kym's a hugger but, more than that, she means it. Some people give you the a-frame-ladder hug but Kym hugs you with all the beauty mentioned above.
3. She makes people better
This is not just idleness. I have seen and been the beneficiary of this. While working with her on two separate productions I saw her selflessness, caring and love-ability make situations better. She also made me a better actor, professional and person and, to those who know me, this was a miracle.
4. She loves children
She teaches kds on a high school drill team. This would be enough because high school is horrible to most people and you just know these children are being made better through Kym's liberal application of love and beauty. I know this is true because I've met a nuber of her former students and they are genuine, generous, lovely poeople. I also was able to witness a workshop with some kids she taught acting to and they were, to a one, uniquely talented and capable of all the things I've mentioned about Kym above. See? She gives it away!
5. She is an actress of unmistakable talent
I have worked with Kym on projects and seen her on stage. You know when actors rely on those little tricks? You know, Renee Zelwiger's forehead? Tom Cruise's smile..? Well Kym has the love and beauty and the whole making people better to rely on. And it works! In her current play, Pride and Predudice, she loves Darcy, so I love Darcy. She found in him more to love than I did. As an actor, I kept thinking how I'd have done it so that her love was more believable and more understandable. But none of it mattered. When the time came for her to love him -- there it was. True and real.
6. She tells the truth
As an actor, lying only works if you do it well. Truthfully. Does that make sense? Doesn't matter. What maters here is that we all have a truth meter and a bilshit meter and we know (sometimes not until years later) when they are ringing. I will just say that Kym rings the truth bell and the bulshit bell is rusted clean through. You will just have to trust me on that or, better yet, trust Kym -- she's worthy.
7. She rarely wears shoes
This is the coolest thing in the world to me for many reasons. But the reason I wish to put forward here is that Kym puts her peersonal comfort before most things. This is important especially when you understand that she's so loving and such a good character-builder. You see, the main thing is to put on your oxygen mask before assisting the child in the seast next to you. Or as Jesus said -- remove the log from your eye before you help get the splinter out of your friend's. Yes, people! Take care of yourself first and then it's easy to take care of others. And it's genuine. And she usually always has polish on...
8. She looks like a younger, prettier Meryl Streep
I never liked Meryl Streep until I saw her do comedy. Then she grew on me. Kym just happens to have the same bone structure as one of the best actresses of our generstion. She should use this to her advantage and become the next greatest acter of our generation.
9. She works many jobs
If you're going to act, and direct and produce theatre, you need a bunch of jobs. Kym works enough for three people BEFORE she puts those other hats on and then works enough for four more. You would do well to learn from her example of not complaining about this.
10. She accepts me
I don't know how or why. I have this mechanism where I keep people just close enough to see what I'll do next but far enough away so as not to get any of it on them. Kym has it all over her. She's seen the worst; I'd like to believe she's seen the best but I keep strivng to be better than I was last time I saw her. But, really, all of it doesn't matter because in this vortex of acceptance she runs about in, she allows me to be me and to be the person she can love and trust. This is the person I like best and hope to remember to be more often -- if only I had a pocket Kym Pappas to remind me to keep up with my gentleman practice...
October 6, 2011
Two Swings
I was honored to be the guest of Embrace Adrenaline Trapeze Club in Scandia, MN. While there, I got to try out my new wearable GoPro camera. Various people wore the head-band-cam and we came up with some great shots. In the two shots captured in the video below, I learned a lot about head placement because, while flying with two experienced and graceful flyers frrom Embrace Adrenaline, the head-band-cam was first worn by the flyer on my left and then by me. That explains the two views but I have a theory that explains it. WAtch this video and read on for my take on what you saw...
OK. So the tall and graceful Katrina wore the camera for the first swing and, as you can see, she got a pretty good shot of our legs and feet. Swinging with another flyer is a good way to learn more about timing and placement by matching the swing. Usually people come away from this exercise with a better understanding of where to put their hips, legs and feet, and when to do it. Katrina certainly did!
Poor Sherri Mann was the second flyer and, while I can attest to her skill and strength, you never get to see her legs and feet. The reason? First let's look at the similarities:
Both swings were double swings with me on the right and and experienced flyer on the left (Katrina on the first one and Sherri on the second). The other fact is that Katrina wore the camera on the first swing and I wore it on the second.
The reason you can't see Sherri's feet on the second swing has nothing to do with where she put them but, rather, where I put my head (and the camera attached to it) durring the swing. By looking up while bringing my legs forward, I was able to bring my hips up higher and achieve a better force out. You just can't see it from that angle because my head is leading my hips, legs and feet.
So, a bad video exercise but a great way to understand how head placement determines where our feet end up in a swing...
OK. So the tall and graceful Katrina wore the camera for the first swing and, as you can see, she got a pretty good shot of our legs and feet. Swinging with another flyer is a good way to learn more about timing and placement by matching the swing. Usually people come away from this exercise with a better understanding of where to put their hips, legs and feet, and when to do it. Katrina certainly did!
Poor Sherri Mann was the second flyer and, while I can attest to her skill and strength, you never get to see her legs and feet. The reason? First let's look at the similarities:
Both swings were double swings with me on the right and and experienced flyer on the left (Katrina on the first one and Sherri on the second). The other fact is that Katrina wore the camera on the first swing and I wore it on the second.
The reason you can't see Sherri's feet on the second swing has nothing to do with where she put them but, rather, where I put my head (and the camera attached to it) durring the swing. By looking up while bringing my legs forward, I was able to bring my hips up higher and achieve a better force out. You just can't see it from that angle because my head is leading my hips, legs and feet.
So, a bad video exercise but a great way to understand how head placement determines where our feet end up in a swing...
Surfing Don'ts
Just a quick video reminder to all your surf instructors out there on what NOT to do when teaching a kid to surf. We did this little video on the GoPro at La Jolla Shores beach. Watch and learn!
July 1, 2011
Acotr's Nightmare
I haven't had that kind of dream in a while and it was terrible. While in school, I'd have a school dream quite often. You know the kind; lost in an unfamiliar building on an unfamiliar campus fifteen minutes after class started and things just get more and more intense as you wander lost.
No, this wasn't one of those dreams but it was close.
This was the actor's nightmare. Last rehearsal before opening and I'm looking at an unfamiliar script knowing that I should have the lines down but don't. Knowing that I had weeks but now I just have hours. Running lines for a scene that makes no sense and knowing that there are about a dozen more that make less. Finally, I focused on the first word in the first line of the first scene and it was "mother".
And that wasn't the worst part.
The worst part was that it was a regional theatre with actors I recognize and an entire office staff and an opening gala. And I'm trying to find a way to bring my script on stage with me, and hide the fact that I don't know my lines from my fellow actors, and trying to accept the fact that I didn't memorize my lines.
Oh God! It was horrible!
I also don't know why we got to opening without having enough rehearsals or why everyone else was in the same boat as I or where the director was. We all know that a well known regional theatre will have a good director who gives actors enough time to learn their lines. One who understands the process.
I have not yet worked on a production in which I am required to come to the first rehearsal with lines memorized but I know actors who have. I, for one, need to memorize lines with movements, to have a kinesthetic and contextual attachment to them. And a partner to hear and respond to them. And that happens in rehearsal, where things can be discussed, negotiated, wrought...
In order for it to all happen spontaneously.
Not at all like life, I'm afraid.
No, this wasn't one of those dreams but it was close.
This was the actor's nightmare. Last rehearsal before opening and I'm looking at an unfamiliar script knowing that I should have the lines down but don't. Knowing that I had weeks but now I just have hours. Running lines for a scene that makes no sense and knowing that there are about a dozen more that make less. Finally, I focused on the first word in the first line of the first scene and it was "mother".
And that wasn't the worst part.
The worst part was that it was a regional theatre with actors I recognize and an entire office staff and an opening gala. And I'm trying to find a way to bring my script on stage with me, and hide the fact that I don't know my lines from my fellow actors, and trying to accept the fact that I didn't memorize my lines.
Oh God! It was horrible!
I also don't know why we got to opening without having enough rehearsals or why everyone else was in the same boat as I or where the director was. We all know that a well known regional theatre will have a good director who gives actors enough time to learn their lines. One who understands the process.
I have not yet worked on a production in which I am required to come to the first rehearsal with lines memorized but I know actors who have. I, for one, need to memorize lines with movements, to have a kinesthetic and contextual attachment to them. And a partner to hear and respond to them. And that happens in rehearsal, where things can be discussed, negotiated, wrought...
In order for it to all happen spontaneously.
Not at all like life, I'm afraid.
June 30, 2011
I'm Down With The Breakup Breakdown
Circle Circle dot dot.
Like it ir not, you're going to hear alot from this angry young theatre company. Angry? Fuck yes.
BTW, if you don't like the F-bomb don't see The Breakup Breakdown. If you've ever broken up (and who hasn't?) then you owe it to yourself to see this. It will be fucking cathartic, y'all.
The show has everything including marital aids, guitars, angry lesbians, cat piss.. Too much? Probably but go, you'll like it.
Standouts include Jacque Wilke as a long suffering sammich getter, Soroya Rowley as that woman you become after breaking up, and Sammantha Gin as the crazy chick you've all dated once (or more if you need help). PS Sam Ginn can beat box better than anyone.
The guys were pretty darn good too; something for everyone including those who like rubenesque men in diapers. I'm just going to leave it at that see this show and figure it out for yourself.
If Circle Circle dot dot could find a venue with 150+ seats and a bar, this show would run forever. But as it stands, The Breakup Breakdown has to close on July 10th so do yourself a cathartic favor and see this fucker.
More info. at www.circle2dot2.com.
Like it ir not, you're going to hear alot from this angry young theatre company. Angry? Fuck yes.
BTW, if you don't like the F-bomb don't see The Breakup Breakdown. If you've ever broken up (and who hasn't?) then you owe it to yourself to see this. It will be fucking cathartic, y'all.
The show has everything including marital aids, guitars, angry lesbians, cat piss.. Too much? Probably but go, you'll like it.
Standouts include Jacque Wilke as a long suffering sammich getter, Soroya Rowley as that woman you become after breaking up, and Sammantha Gin as the crazy chick you've all dated once (or more if you need help). PS Sam Ginn can beat box better than anyone.
The guys were pretty darn good too; something for everyone including those who like rubenesque men in diapers. I'm just going to leave it at that see this show and figure it out for yourself.
If Circle Circle dot dot could find a venue with 150+ seats and a bar, this show would run forever. But as it stands, The Breakup Breakdown has to close on July 10th so do yourself a cathartic favor and see this fucker.
More info. at www.circle2dot2.com.
June 21, 2011
Arts Marketing
I just read an article about a Theatre Communication Group conference on arts marketing and it raised all kinds of emotions. In the article, someone commented that playwrights were complaining that marketers don't know how to market their plays. And marketing directors were complaining that playwrights don't know enough about marketing to tell them what to do.
Having been both a marketing director and a playwright, I think I have as true a perspective on the problem as anyone. Both parties are right. In my experience, arts organizations choose products without consulting the marketing department and then complain when sales figures are low.
As one friend in the business once said, "When a play sells well, it's an artistic success and when it doesn't sell well, it's a marketing failure."
Artists and arts managers should remember that in the for profit world, the product originates in the marketing department. Marketers decide what people want and then help create a product to sell to these people. Arts organizations don't often ask their audiences what they want, unless we're talking about Broadway - and there's a reason that ticket prices are high on Broadway: people want to see the shows.
Arts organizations are encouraged to take risks and expand their audiences' horizons by presenting work that is new, that challenges the status quo and makes people feel and think. That is good art. The problem with good art is that people don't like it as much as good artistic product. The fact about nonprofit theatre audiences is that they don't know nearly as much about theatre as the people running them. This is not a bad thing.
I worked at a theatre in San DIego that got a huge grant to study audience demographics in the service of expanding audiences and especially minority audiences. It is no secret that the majority of theatre goers at that time were older, well-educated, well-to-to white people. This years-long study supported African American plays, Latino plays and traditional plays and tried to integrate audiences to all of them. The results were interesting.
Generally, Latinos supported Latino plays; African Americans supported African American plays and Whites went to everything. So the audience, after the years-long study, turned out to be predominantly an older, whiter, well educated and well-to-do audience but one, we learned, who appreciated more types of plays than we thought.
The same crowd that marketing directors at theatres have been marketing to for years. With limited budgets for marketing (something I have never understood), marketing directors have to market to this demographic primarily.
I am not advocating for marketing directors to dictate to playwrights. People engaged in this activity are on TV and in film and playwrights (and theatres and audiences) want something different. I am advocating for marketing directors and artistic directors to communicate.
Remember, artistic people, that the marketing department manages the only people who interact with customers who like and dislike the product. Remember, marketing people, that artists have to develop seasons of thoughtful, thought-provoking and powerful art.
Of course, all you really have to do, playwrights, is look at what the large and medium theatres are doing to see what they want and what they want is brand new but proven thought-provoking art. The fact that playwrights are even in theatres in the first place is a miracle. The fact that they are complaining about this miracle is heart-breaking.
My goal is to wright a Tony Award winning play and, during my acceptance speech say, "To the people who chose plays: know that there are still a number of plays with my name on them in your stacks of unread plays. The cost of doing these plays just went up. Also know this: in support of the play writing community, I will submit the rest of my plays under pseudonyms so you will have to read them all to find mine. During that process I know you will find other voices as good as, or better than, mine. Thank you."
Too bitter?
Having been both a marketing director and a playwright, I think I have as true a perspective on the problem as anyone. Both parties are right. In my experience, arts organizations choose products without consulting the marketing department and then complain when sales figures are low.
As one friend in the business once said, "When a play sells well, it's an artistic success and when it doesn't sell well, it's a marketing failure."
Artists and arts managers should remember that in the for profit world, the product originates in the marketing department. Marketers decide what people want and then help create a product to sell to these people. Arts organizations don't often ask their audiences what they want, unless we're talking about Broadway - and there's a reason that ticket prices are high on Broadway: people want to see the shows.
Arts organizations are encouraged to take risks and expand their audiences' horizons by presenting work that is new, that challenges the status quo and makes people feel and think. That is good art. The problem with good art is that people don't like it as much as good artistic product. The fact about nonprofit theatre audiences is that they don't know nearly as much about theatre as the people running them. This is not a bad thing.
I worked at a theatre in San DIego that got a huge grant to study audience demographics in the service of expanding audiences and especially minority audiences. It is no secret that the majority of theatre goers at that time were older, well-educated, well-to-to white people. This years-long study supported African American plays, Latino plays and traditional plays and tried to integrate audiences to all of them. The results were interesting.
Generally, Latinos supported Latino plays; African Americans supported African American plays and Whites went to everything. So the audience, after the years-long study, turned out to be predominantly an older, whiter, well educated and well-to-do audience but one, we learned, who appreciated more types of plays than we thought.
The same crowd that marketing directors at theatres have been marketing to for years. With limited budgets for marketing (something I have never understood), marketing directors have to market to this demographic primarily.
I am not advocating for marketing directors to dictate to playwrights. People engaged in this activity are on TV and in film and playwrights (and theatres and audiences) want something different. I am advocating for marketing directors and artistic directors to communicate.
Remember, artistic people, that the marketing department manages the only people who interact with customers who like and dislike the product. Remember, marketing people, that artists have to develop seasons of thoughtful, thought-provoking and powerful art.
Of course, all you really have to do, playwrights, is look at what the large and medium theatres are doing to see what they want and what they want is brand new but proven thought-provoking art. The fact that playwrights are even in theatres in the first place is a miracle. The fact that they are complaining about this miracle is heart-breaking.
My goal is to wright a Tony Award winning play and, during my acceptance speech say, "To the people who chose plays: know that there are still a number of plays with my name on them in your stacks of unread plays. The cost of doing these plays just went up. Also know this: in support of the play writing community, I will submit the rest of my plays under pseudonyms so you will have to read them all to find mine. During that process I know you will find other voices as good as, or better than, mine. Thank you."
Too bitter?
June 15, 2011
June 13, 2011
I beg to differ, for the first time
I know how dangerous it is to disagree with reviewers and especially headline writers - as they're sometimes all we have. But, they're all we have and I don't think they saw the same show I performed in...
So here's my first ever review of the review for "Swimming in the Shallows". There's a link below to read the review as written but first a few comments:
"...but during one’s experience of the play, deeper thoughts do not occur: We are, after all, swimming in the shallows with five ridiculously fraught humans"
Actually, I believe the play is about the beginning, middle and end of relationships and how consumerism is ruining relationships. So, if new love, marriage, divorce and paring down ones possessions are shallow - guilty!
"...perhaps because the characters’ problems are so common and trivial and their neuroses so mild."
See my comments above.
"Nonetheless, the vigor and attractive nature of artistic director Carla Nell’s acting company is laudable."
Thank you for the laudanum.
"Barb has a garage sale and lightens her load further by getting rid of her clueless husband, Bob (Kevin Six)."
This is the best piece of writing in the whole review.
Read the whole thing here
So here's my first ever review of the review for "Swimming in the Shallows". There's a link below to read the review as written but first a few comments:
"InnerMission's Swimming in the Shallows drowns in its own ingratiating humor"
Harsh. Much more harsh than the review. Do keep reading."...but during one’s experience of the play, deeper thoughts do not occur: We are, after all, swimming in the shallows with five ridiculously fraught humans"
Actually, I believe the play is about the beginning, middle and end of relationships and how consumerism is ruining relationships. So, if new love, marriage, divorce and paring down ones possessions are shallow - guilty!
"...perhaps because the characters’ problems are so common and trivial and their neuroses so mild."
See my comments above.
"Nonetheless, the vigor and attractive nature of artistic director Carla Nell’s acting company is laudable."
Thank you for the laudanum.
"Barb has a garage sale and lightens her load further by getting rid of her clueless husband, Bob (Kevin Six)."
This is the best piece of writing in the whole review.
Read the whole thing here
June 9, 2011
Swimming in the Shallows review:
"Six is boyishly charming as Bob, Barb’s confused and slightly befuddled (if not too horrifically sad) husband. I really loved that fact that he wore a t-shirt that said “Bob” the entire production. Barb’s obsessive talk of “Bob” objectified him and the t-shirt topped it off."
-Paola Hornbuckle, Arts N Fashion Magazine
May 6, 2011
Kevin Six wins Second place for blogging
Blogs | La Vista
Other People's Children
By Kevin Six | Posted April 3, 2011, 12:59 p.m.
This happened to me on Friday. Twice. One was an adult who yelled at children in Borders and another was a woman yelling at a mother at Stu Segal's Studio Diner. Both adults were in the wrong, one of them got a serious dressing-down by me and the other deserved one but my girlfriend sat nearly on me in the restaurant to keep me in my seat.
First the a-hole in Borders:
More:
April 26, 2011
How to solicit plays electronically
Instead of having playwrights bear the burden of printing and mailing scripts for a short play contest/festival, I suggest these easy steps to save time, money, gasoline and distribute the burden of printing...
1. Get a free G-Mail account, which includes Blogspot.
2. Set up a blog to be utterly and completely private (this takes literally five minutes). Assure playwrights that only the directors/actors/judges for the festival will have access to the blog. Note: if the blog is not private, playwrights will see their plays on routine Google alerts that they make with their names and the names of their plays.
4. Invite judges/directors/actors, etc. to the blog via Blogspot. The program by sends them a link to the blog and requires them to sign in with Google (a small catch but a LOT of people have Google accounts for purposes just like this).
3. Have playwrights submit their plays in Rich Text Format (rtf) attached to an e-mail. It is possible to have all e-mails become blog posts but it's probably better to load them manually.
4. Load the plays onto the blog. Each play's title is the blog title. This way people can read/choose/browse plays on the blogroll that it usually on a panel to the right. If you need to strip contact information, you may do this or ask the playwrights to but make sure you get that information on the body of the e-mails from playwrights.
5. Save all incoming e-mails as a group so you may respond to everyone. You may also set up a reply that thanks e-mailers for their submission and gives them information about when final decisions will be made.
5. Choose the plays that made the final cut and delete the rest from the blog. This way, you can invite directors/technicians/actors to become blog readers (readers may not post to the blog) so they can read, print and comment on plays.
6. The festival is half-produced.
February 17, 2011
The D Effect By Kevin Six
({this was one of the monologues I wrote/performed for the MENding Monologues last week})
I heard about this study in which an ape was put in a room with a bunch of bananas. He had access to all of them, including one up high that was wired to give him a shock. When the ape touched this Electric Banana, he received a shock.
Then the scientists introduced another ape into the room. When the second ape tried to reach for the Electric Banana, the first ape, not wanting his new friend to receive a shock, hit him over the head.
The scientists then removed the first ape and turned off the Electric Banana. They kept rotating apes into the room but none of them ever touched that banana because, if they tried, the ape that was already there would hit them over the head.
Something scientific had just happened. And I don’t know what it was because I’m neither an ape nor a scientist. I call this it Electric Banana Effect: an ape will hit you over the head to keep you from getting a shock.
I think humans could use an Electric Banana experiment. But I don’t think we’d go for it because, well, we aren’t apes. We can speak, for one thing. We can say, “Say old boy, don’t touch that banana or you’ll get quite a shock.”
We also have Social Conventions. We would never think of hitting you over the head to keep you from getting a shock. Especially in a laboratory with scientists looking on.
But you’re going to get the shock, aren’t you? Even if I say the banana’s wired, you’re going to touch it. The shock you receive is your punishment for not believing me; and my punishment for not being ape enough to hit you over the head.
But are Social Conventions more civilized? In a classroom, on a committee or at work, Social Conventions actually keep us from telling each other what would help the communication process. We don’t want to shock anyone with A, B, C… so we hit them over the head with A, B, C…
I call it ABC Theory: A is a shocking thing that happened to someone; B is how A makes someone feel; and C is how someone comes to terms with A&B. ABC Theory used to drive me crazy. Why can’t people just say, “I have ABC, so please go easy on me”?
Then I took part in an experiment also known as a V-Day rehearsal. As V-Day is a global movement to end violence, many of the people involved have experienced violence. These people felt comfortable enough to share their As, Bs and Cs; and hearing them didn’t kill me. In fact it made me want to help.
That’s when I came up with the D Effect. If A is a shocking thing that happened to you; and B is how you feel about that; and C is how you’re coping with it ; then let D be what I can do to help.
I never wanted to shock anyone with my ABC so I hit them over the head with it. I resented people for not telling me about their ABCs and I would never ask for the D Effect because I didn’t think I deserved it.
And then I realized that the people who need the D Effect most might not know how to ask for it.
And that hit me like an Electric Banana.
If the D Effect is part of the solution, why am I withholding it? I mean The D Effect works if people have an ABC or not; or tell me or not or if they have ABC and don’t know it. So I’m going to use it on everyone and, if they’re working through something it will help a lot and, if they aren’t it will still work.
When you look at the statistics it’s pretty safe to assume that everyone you meet might be a little bit broken and might be putting some pieces back together and might not have thought to mention it, because, well, we’re not apes.
So the D Effect works best when liberally applied. I think it’s what separates us from the Apes.
I heard about this study in which an ape was put in a room with a bunch of bananas. He had access to all of them, including one up high that was wired to give him a shock. When the ape touched this Electric Banana, he received a shock.
Then the scientists introduced another ape into the room. When the second ape tried to reach for the Electric Banana, the first ape, not wanting his new friend to receive a shock, hit him over the head.
The scientists then removed the first ape and turned off the Electric Banana. They kept rotating apes into the room but none of them ever touched that banana because, if they tried, the ape that was already there would hit them over the head.
Something scientific had just happened. And I don’t know what it was because I’m neither an ape nor a scientist. I call this it Electric Banana Effect: an ape will hit you over the head to keep you from getting a shock.
I think humans could use an Electric Banana experiment. But I don’t think we’d go for it because, well, we aren’t apes. We can speak, for one thing. We can say, “Say old boy, don’t touch that banana or you’ll get quite a shock.”
We also have Social Conventions. We would never think of hitting you over the head to keep you from getting a shock. Especially in a laboratory with scientists looking on.
But you’re going to get the shock, aren’t you? Even if I say the banana’s wired, you’re going to touch it. The shock you receive is your punishment for not believing me; and my punishment for not being ape enough to hit you over the head.
But are Social Conventions more civilized? In a classroom, on a committee or at work, Social Conventions actually keep us from telling each other what would help the communication process. We don’t want to shock anyone with A, B, C… so we hit them over the head with A, B, C…
I call it ABC Theory: A is a shocking thing that happened to someone; B is how A makes someone feel; and C is how someone comes to terms with A&B. ABC Theory used to drive me crazy. Why can’t people just say, “I have ABC, so please go easy on me”?
Then I took part in an experiment also known as a V-Day rehearsal. As V-Day is a global movement to end violence, many of the people involved have experienced violence. These people felt comfortable enough to share their As, Bs and Cs; and hearing them didn’t kill me. In fact it made me want to help.
That’s when I came up with the D Effect. If A is a shocking thing that happened to you; and B is how you feel about that; and C is how you’re coping with it ; then let D be what I can do to help.
I never wanted to shock anyone with my ABC so I hit them over the head with it. I resented people for not telling me about their ABCs and I would never ask for the D Effect because I didn’t think I deserved it.
And then I realized that the people who need the D Effect most might not know how to ask for it.
And that hit me like an Electric Banana.
If the D Effect is part of the solution, why am I withholding it? I mean The D Effect works if people have an ABC or not; or tell me or not or if they have ABC and don’t know it. So I’m going to use it on everyone and, if they’re working through something it will help a lot and, if they aren’t it will still work.
When you look at the statistics it’s pretty safe to assume that everyone you meet might be a little bit broken and might be putting some pieces back together and might not have thought to mention it, because, well, we’re not apes.
So the D Effect works best when liberally applied. I think it’s what separates us from the Apes.
February 7, 2011
Sullivan Players presents a reading of Bad Habits by Terrence McNally
7:00 p.m. Every Monday in February 2011.
The play is about.. well, follow this link: https://secure.wikimedia.o
Come see some of DJ Sullivans' favorite actors in one of her favorite plays. 7:00 p.m. every Monday in Feb.
Featuring:
Ian Rose, Michael Mannocchio, Elaine Miranda, Greg Rhode, Timothy Carr, Jo-Darlene Reardon, Jack G. White, Joe Nesnow, Byron Teagarden, Renee Varnadore, Sheila Rosen, Michael Bova, Tom Kilroy, Kevin Kornburger, Lou Cruciani, Tim Evans and Kevin Six
Swedenborg Hall
The play is about.. well, follow this link: https://secure.wikimedia.o
Come see some of DJ Sullivans' favorite actors in one of her favorite plays. 7:00 p.m. every Monday in Feb.
Featuring:
Ian Rose, Michael Mannocchio, Elaine Miranda, Greg Rhode, Timothy Carr, Jo-Darlene Reardon, Jack G. White, Joe Nesnow, Byron Teagarden, Renee Varnadore, Sheila Rosen, Michael Bova, Tom Kilroy, Kevin Kornburger, Lou Cruciani, Tim Evans and Kevin Six
Swedenborg Hall
1531 Tyler Ave.
January 23, 2011
Kevin Six (Online) Play Festival
Welcome to the First Annual Kevin Six (Online) Short Play Festival! These plays were written by Kevin Six, who would very much like you to read them. You may read them to yourself, aloud, alone or with friends. You may also read the stsage directions. You may comment at the end of this page, or not.
I just hope you like the plays and hope to some day see them on a stage. Oh, and please turn off all cell phones and pagers. Thank you.
Working Theatre Erotic Shorts
Shel, Margaret and Carlyle
This play was first produced at the Working Theatre Collective for its Erotic Shorts festival. The picture at right is a production still of the reading in Seatle, WA.
At rise:
A man, CARLYLE, though you could barely tell his sex, is bound, gagged and almost hanging from his manacled wrists. He wears a leather outfit complete with a black leather hood and a red ball – that looks ominously like a dog toy – stuffed in his mouth. His wife, MARGARET, reads from “Where the Sidewalk Ends.”
MARGARET
“Who can kick a football
From here to Afghanistan?
I can!
Who fought tigers in the street
While all the policemen ran and hid?
I did!
Who will—“
CARLYLE
(Spits out the dog toy) No, Margaret, it’s no good.
MARGARET
(Whines) Carlyle, we’re only on page 63! If you keep stopping me, we’ll never find the pot of gold. And your parents are coming home at nine with the kids.
CARLYLE
Margaret. Use the voice. Please. We discussed this.
MARGARET
OK… (She now speaks very sternly) Stop your insufferable whining, wimp! You will be quiet and do as you’re told or I’ll use the rope.
MARGARET gets a pink jump rope and almost wields it menacingly and CARLYLE is almost scared but MARGARET almost giggles.
CARLYLE
Are you… Are you laughing at me, mistress?
MARGARET (back to her wifely self, giggling) It’s just so—
CARLYLE
What!? Strange? Odd? Stupid?
MARGARET
Silly, Carlyle. I mean your ball gag is the dog’s toy. The whip is Jennifer’s jump rope and Shel Silverstein? In a playroom?
CARLYLE
Dungeon! Margaret, you know how much this means to me. I thought we talked it all out with Dr. Henry. Safe words. Costumes. Suspension of disbelief…
MARGARET
I know darling but I don’t think I’m cut out for it. And you…
CARLYLE
I what? I’m not cut out for a life of slavehood?
MARGARET
You’re PTA president, Carlyle. You’re a pillar of the community. You—
CARLYLE
I’m dying, Margaret! Dying. Right here in the play room with the jump rope and the dog toy stuffed into my mouth. I can’t even get the fantasy right. All I want is—
MARGARET
Sex! I know. I’m sorry that it’s been so—
CARLYLE
Can’t we just—?
MARGARET
No! You can have the dungeon fantasy but not the other one. It was too—
CARLYLE
Fun. It was too fun! You loved being the princess ravaged by the pirate king and you almost—
MARGARET
Well who knew Mrs. Wimpole would call the police. It was—
CARLYLE
Embarrassing, I know but—
MARGARET
No, Carlyle. I won’t come this close to getting caught in a costume again.
CARLYLE
But the basement—
MARGARET
Is the kid’s play room! I mean how can you even think of sex with all these toy cars and Barbies?
CARLYLE
And jump ropes! Please, Margaret.
MARGARET
No, Carlyle. I don’t think it’s going to work.
MARGARET releases CARLYLE from his bonds.
CARLYLE
Oh, it’s so good of you to be so safe and so quaint and have no passion in your life. Why don’t you just admit it! You’re a boring—
MARGARET
No!
CARLYLE
Silly—
MARGARET
No!
CARLYLE
Frumpy!
MARGARET
No!
CARLYLE
HOUSE WIFE!
MARGARET finally breaks. She had found her stern voice again.
MARGARET
How dare you! After all I’ve done for you. You little shit! How can you even say that to me after I gave you two children and cooked and cleaned—
CARLYLE
Use it. Use it!
She takes him over her knee in a kid’s chair and uses the pink jump rope on his leather clad behind. Timidly at first and then stronger.
MARGARET
You deserve worse than this Mister! If it were up to me you’d live down here and never have sex again. You’d have to beg to just see my feet while I made you masturbate. If you were lucky, I’d let you lick up your little mess, you sissy!
CARLYLE
Now. Say it! Say it now, Margaret!
MARGARET, with perfect cadence and rhythm, a rope-slap on every beat of the poetry, and, as the lights fade, recites:
MARGARET
“This started out as a
jumping rope
You prob’ly think that
I’m a dope
But This started out as a
jumping rope
And now I fear there is
no hope
But This started out as a
jumping rope”
End
The Art of Love AFTERNOON (ASIAN GALLERY)
The lights come up on an art gallery (preferably an existing one at the San Diego Museum of Art). Two couples, fortiesh, enter; the two men (BOB and TED) in front and the women (ALICE and CAROL) behind. They browse at the Asian art and comment.
BOB
What does it all mean, Ted? I mean…
TED
It’s Asian Miniature art, Bob. The sultan would hold them in one hand…
BOB
No, not that. Life.
TED
Oh, you’re getting all philosophical again. Geez, why don’t you get a Corvette and a—
BOB
You did it.
TED
I did not.
BOB
You did it. You quit your job…
TED
Got laid off.
BOB
Took up surfing…
TED
I was invisible.
BOB
What do you mean?
TED
All those beautiful sun-baked goddesses and not a one ever said anything to me.
BOB
Getting hot chicks to look at you takes money, Ted. Besides what would we do with them?
TED
Bob, we’d do all kinds of interesting things… We’d…
BOB
Be asleep by nine thirty! Come on we’ve got great wives, they’re—
TED
Highly critical…
BOB
Undersexed…
TED
Spending machines…
BOB
That don’t cook.
CAROL
Ooh, this one’s nice. Alice, look at this one.
ALICE
An Imaginary Gathering of Sages. Carol, I don’t get it. It says Asian art and these guys are clearly Arab.
CAROL
Indian.
ALICE
Indian?
CAROL
Yes. It says these guys are dead Muslim saints.
ALICE
Well of course they’re dead; it’s four hundred years old.
CAROL
No, Alice. They were dead four hundred years before the painting was painted.
ALICE
Imaginary, I get it.
CAROL (quoting) “Made for a member of the royal family who shared their beliefs.”
ALICE
Another thing I don’t get is why are they so small?
CAROL
Oh, they were painted small so the Sultan could hold them in one hand.
ALICE
Not the painting. Them. Their minds.
CAROL
Oh. Yes. We baby them and they resent us for it.
ALICE
Yet they can’t find the butter in the butter compartment.
CAROL
They are juveniles until the kids come and then they’re—
ALICE
Babies.
CAROL
Yes. Then we think we’ve raised them along with the kids and as soon as the last one goes to college—
ALICE
Surf lessons.
CAROL
I know. Don’t you worry about the bronze beach goddesses?
ALICE
He’s invisible.
CAROL
He’s gone insane?
ALICE
No. He’s invisible to young women.
CAROL
I guess that’s good. Mine hasn’t decided.
ALICE
Corvette. Best thing you can do. He gets a few tickets, maybe a close call with the law and it’s out of his system.
CAROL
I thought they get hornier when it hits them.
ALICE
They do, but not for us.
CAROL
But the young ones are just getting ready to go out at nine thirty.
ALICE
So it’s good.
CAROL
I guess.
CAROL and ALICE
Yeah, good.
BOB
Why are we here, Ted?
TED
We are destined to have an impact on the generations who come after us, Bob.
BOB
No, here in the museum.
TED
The Cultural Attaché dug this one up.
BOB
Yours or mine?
TED
You never pay attention. Mine is the cultural attaché yours is the restaurant critic.
BOB
And we’re…
TED
Beasts of burden…
BOB
Bread winners…
TED
Do you ever get to make a decision?
BOB
No. You?
TED
She said that she’d handle all the small ones and I could take the big ones.
BOB
And?
TED
Twenty five years and there hasn’t been a big one yet, I guess.
BOB
Why do we do it?
TED
The Cultural Attaché says we need culture, and we go.
BOB
No, the marriage. Why do we stay in it?
TED
Inertia?
BOB
Fear?
TED
The great sex.
They look at each other for a beat and laugh out loud.
ALICE
Do you think we’ll get kicked out?
CAROL
No there isn’t alcohol involved.
ALICE
Why do we do it?
CAROL
You pick the cultural stuff, call me and—
ALICE
No, the marriage.
CAROL
The ignoring…
ALICE
I ignored him for three whole days and he didn’t even notice.
CAROL
Sort takes all the fun out of a snit.
ALICE
Do you withhold sex?
CAROL
I just until after nine thirty then I wait up for my boyfriend.
ALICE
Conan.
CAROL
You too? I thought you were a Leno man.
ALICE
Barbarian. On Blue Ray DVD.
CAROL
Oh, you are being naughty.
ALICE
I wish.
CAROL
Well, maybe next time we’ll do the sex museum.
ALICE
There is such a thing?
CAROL
You’re the Cultural Attaché, Alice.
ALICE
Sex museum. Maybe it’s just my lingerie drawer.
CAROL
You don’t either?
ALICE
No, I work all day, cook all evening and tell my husband where the beer is all night.
CAROL
We do eat out a lot.
ALICE
And other people bring the beer.
CAROL
We’re wives…
ALICE
I always wanted to be a MILF but it didn’t catch on until the kids were older and I was…
CAROL
Old…
ALICE
Used up…
CAROL
Angry.
BOB
Was there ever love?
TED
Where, here? I think that fat guy loves food…
BOB
That’s Buddah, Ted. He loves everyone.
TED
Like Santa Claus?
BOB
No. Love in your relationship.
TED
Bob, if I wanted to talk about my relationship I’d have stayed home. What’s with you?
BOB
I think I’m missing something.
TED
Sex?
BOB
Yes. But…
TED
Intimacy? The feeling that someone’s on your side?
BOB
We get that from each other.
TED
Intimacy?
BOB
Ted, I’ve told you more sensitive shit than I’d ever tell her.
TED
But it wasn’t always like that was it?
BOB
No, once I had a partner. A play toy, a lover…
TED
What happened?
BOB
I don’t know.
TED
Do you love her?
BOB
Yes. I guess.
ALICE
Yes, I think so. You?
CAROL
I do. I hope I do. Otherwise what else is there to live for?
ALICE and CAROL
Sale at Nine West.
TED
Me too, I guess.
BOB
Let’s tell them.
TED
No. What would they do?
BOB
It would be worth it to find out.
ALICE
Ready to move on?
CAROL
What were you two carrying on about? I know you hate cultural days.
BOB
No we love it and, uh, you.
TED
Yeah, me too.
ALICE
What does it mean?
CAROL
They’re beer deprived, quick to a sports bar.
BOB and TED
I love you.
CAROL ALICE
Really? What?
BOB
Come on, don’t make us say it again.
TED
Do you?
ALICE and CAROL
Uh, sure. Yeah.
CAROL
We just don’t go broadcasting it.
ALICE
Yeah, come on, we’re in public here.
BOB
We get it.
TED
Not enough.
ALICE
Enough of that.
CAROL ALICE
I love you. I love you.
BOB
Sounds odd.
TED
Do you mean it?
ALICE
Sure.
CAROL
Most of the time.
BOB
Yeah, me too.
TED
I guess that’s better than the alternative.
ALICE
What alternative?
CAROL
I don’t think we want to know.
BOB
Do we?
TED
Maybe we don’t.
There is an awkward pause.
ALICE
Well, let’s move on to the European Gallery.
BOB
I want to make more decisions.
TED
I want romantic nights.
ALICE
I want a maid.
CAROL
I want foot massages.
ALL
OK, I’ll think about it.
BOB (exiting) Alright, let’s move on.
TED (exiting)Keep moving. That’s right.
ALICE
How long does it last?
CAROL
Until our hormones give out and we get hot flashes.
ALICE
Oh. Payback.
BLACKOUT
End
Bad Shit
Characters:
ASSHOLE1 He (or she) is this asshole who wants free shit
ASSHOLE2 So’s she (or he)
PLAYWRIGHT He (or she) is an asshole who wants money
Change any “he” or “his” to “she” and “her” if you cast women in any role.
Setting:
An empty theatre or a coffee shop.
Synopsis:
A playwright is trying to get his (or her) play produced.
ASSHOLE1: We really like your shit
ASSHOLE2: Yea, your shit. We really like it.
PLAYWRIGHT: What I do is not shit. It’s—
ASSHOLE1: Shit, don’t come down on me, man. We’re just looking for a short play...
ASSHOLE2: Yea. A short play. We’re looking—
PLAYWRIGHT: I don’t suppose you have, ur… um… ah…
ASSHOLE2: Er? Um? What?
ASSHOLE1: Come on, give the playwright time to get his ass in gear (aside) asshole.
ASSHOLE2: You said ass. (aside) asshole.
PLAYWRIGHT: Money.
ASSOLE1: Money?
ASSHOLE2: Money? What do you think we are?
ASSHOLE 1 and ASSHOLE 2: Assholes!?
PLAYWRIGHT: Oh. So you have money to produ –
ASSHOLE1: Oh. For the play?
ASSHOLE2: The play? Oh, for—
PLAYWRIGHT: Well, what else would you use the money for?
ASSHOLE1: Beer.
ASSHOLE2: Beer. Beer and …uh…. er… um…
PLAYWRIGHT: Er? Um? What?
ASSHOLE2: Yeah what?
ASSHOLE1: Like you don’t know.
PLAYWRIGHT: I might.
ASSHOLE2: He might.
ASSHOLE1: Well… you don’t have to be such an –
ASSHOLE2: Asshole!
ASSHOLE1: about it.
PLAYWRIGHT: No, well. I, um, er, uh.
ASSHOLE: I! Er! Um! WHAT!
PLAYWRIGHT: Well, I wondered what else you (aside) assholes (aloud) spend money on.
ASSHOLE1: Oh, that.
ASSHOLE2: Oh that!
ASSHOLE1: Hahahahahah
ASSHOLE2: Hahahahaha
PLAYWRIGHT: Um…
ASSHOLE1: Well.
ASSHOLE2: Tell him.
ASSHOLE1: I will.
ASSHOLE2: Tell him.
ASSHOLE1: I will.
ASSHOLE2: Tell him.
ASSHOLE1: I WILL!
ASSHOLE2: Well, you don’t have to be such an –
PLAYWRIGHT: Asshole!
ASSHOLE2: …about it.
ASSHOLE1: Hey. Are you calling me an—
ASSHOLE2: Asshole! Are you calling him an asshole!?
PLAYWRIGHT: No. I’m finishing your sentence it’s a—
ASSHOLE2: theatrical convention? Hahahaha.
ASSHOLE1: Yeah. Whadda you think we are? Assholes?
PLAYWRIGHT: So there’s no development mo—
ASSHOLE1: Yes there’s development money!
ASSHOLE2: Yes. There is. Money.
PLAYWRIGHT: Oh.
ASSHOLE1: For marketing.
ASSHOLE2: Marketing. Marketing and –
ASSHOLE1: Lighting.
ASSHOLE2: Lighting. Lighting and –
ASSHOLE1: Stage managers.
ASSHOLE2: Assholes but you’ve got to have them.
ASSHOLE1: Yes, you’ve got to have an asshole.
ASSHOLE2: Managing the stage.
ASSHOLE1: That too.
PLAYWRIGHT: So you have money for—?
ASSHOLE1: Actors.
ASSHOLE2: Talk about assholes.
ASSHOLE1: Yeah. Assholes. Actors.
PLAYWRIGHT: So, what’s the percentage?
ASSHOLE1: Percentage?
ASSHOLE2: Percentage? Percentage of—
ASSHOLE1: What?
PLAYWRIGHT: The royalty. For the playwright?
ASSHOLE1 and ASSHOLE2:
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Oh. Ahahahahahahahaha.
ASSHOLE1: That was good!
ASSHOLE2: Yeah. That was good.
PLAYWRIGHT: There’s no money for—?
ASSHOLE1: What? Playwrights?
ASSHOLE2: Playwrights? What?
PLAYWRIGHT: (aside) Assholes.
ASSHOLE1: (aside) Asshole.
ASSHOLE2: (aside) Assholes.
ASSHOLE1: So!
ASSHOLE2: So?
PLAYWRIGHT: So, what?
ASSHOLE1: Will you do it?
ASSHOLE2: Yeah, will you do it?
PLAYWRIGHT: Of course! I get my name in the program, don’t I?
ASSHOLE1 and ASSHOLE2: Don’t push it, asshole!
End
Command Performance
AT RISE
A theatre sits lonely and possibly a little dusty. There is covered furniture upstage (three or more chairs) and a table downstage and, perhaps, a ghost light. THE MAN enters, perhaps from a side door. He carries a briefcase and readies the stage for what can only be a staged reading. He is remarkable only in how normal he looks and acts. Dressed casually but tidily, his clothes and briefcase are tasteful but not ostentatious. He is cheery as he goes about his task and talks to himself.
THE MAN
So much to do. Even for a staged reading as small as this. Oh, but a very important audience to be sure. Very important people. Command performance.
THE MAN disappears off stage and the lights come up. Nothing special. Just a house plot. He readies some props and, almost accidentally, uncovers two of the chairs to reveal BAD ACTOR and BAD ACTRESS. They are not eager to be at the staged reading as evidenced by the rope and gags. They are bound to their chairs.
THE MAN
Oh you’re already here. So good of you to come. It was absolutely hell booking the theatre. Getting the exact date and time. The set-up. Everything had to be perfect don’t you know. Perfect.
Well the show’s about to begin, Ladies and Gentlemen. So take your seats… You do like your seats? Not too close to the action? No. I don’t think so. I think it’s perfect. You will no doubt have an excellent view of the proceedings.
He opens a briefcase rather dramatically and pulls out…programs and scripts, which he places before the BAD ACTORS on the music stands we thought were reserved for the staged reading. There is something else in the briefcase…
You like that? Nice script, eh? Wouldn’t you like to get your hands on it? To sink your teeth into the role? Oh but look closely. If you do, you’ll both see your unworthy handprints all over these scripts. Yes. Not easy to get after all this time but then again they were never yours to begin with, were they? No. See? No notes. Just handprints. The process, as you’ll soon see, is so very important for the good actor. Don’t you agree? Well, no, you wouldn’t, would you?
As if on cue, there is a knock at the door – the same one through which THE MAN entered at the beginning. THE MAN checks his watch.
THE MAN
Not just right on time. Early by ten minutes. That is what I call professional. Don’t you think? I do. Always professional of actors to be a little early in case there are any last minute details. Oh, don’t get up. I’ll get the door.
He opens the door and now there enter the GOOD ACTOR and GOOD ACTRESS. They are dressed as casually and tidily as THE MAN. They hold scripts that look like they’ve been gone over thoroughly; wrinkled, turned up, highlighted, notated. THE MAN pulls them aside.
GOOD ACTOR
Hi.
GOOD ACTRESS
Hi.
THE MAN
You’re here! Thank you so much for coming. Especially under the (he whispers, acknowledging the bound couple upstage) odd circumstances.
Everyone speaks in hushed, reverential tones in honor of the sexual deviants they are serving.
GOOD ACTRESS
No problem.
GOOD ACTOR
Yeah, we didn’t have much time…
THE MAN
No, it’s supposed to be informal.
GOOD ACTRESS
This is their thing?
THE MAN
Oh yes. They want to be right on stage with you. Keep your backs to them, as if they were sneaking in on your performance.
GOOD ACTOR
Wow…
THE MAN
Yes, they have an odd proclivity but pay well.
GOOD ACTOR
Yeah, thanks for the money in advance. Are you sure?
THE MAN
Oh, yes. That’s part of it. Paying dearly…
GOOD ACTRESS
Yeas. Thanks, it’s…
THE MAN
Don’t mention it. Ever. That’s also part of the deal, remember.
Everyone smiles and nods. The GOOD ACTORS take their places down stage of the bound couple and read from their scripts but perform excellently.
THE MAN
And now! Direct from New York, two actual actors. Good actors. Actors who can do what you only dream of in your pitiful fantasies (he winks at the GOOD ACTORS), as you are nothing but pitiful, puking pustules on the cankered ass of actors who are only one percent of the actors these people are! These people, whose names you are not even worthy of knowing, will now perform only one scene from the play you so malishiously maligned in your pitiful attempt to, as you call it, “enact” the roles! Behold, you worthless, sniveling, horrible little…. bad… actors. The scene as it should be done.
With a nod from the man, the GOOD ACTORS look at each other, engage emotionally, and begin the scene.
GOOD ACTOR
How can you—?
GOOD ACTRESS
You have to ask?
GOOD ACTOR
Of course I have to ask. You—
GOOD ACTRESS
Me? We’re talking about you and your—
GOOD ACTOR
My What? You have no proof—
GOOD ACTRESS
Proof? Who needs proof, when I can see it in your eyes! I can see it in your body language, Robert. How do you think I feel when you hold me in your arms and she’s in your thoughts? When you make love to her while it’s my body you hold?
GOOD ACTOR
You knew? All along?
GOOD ACTRESS
Of course, Robert!
GOOD ACTOR
But how, Melanie? I never—
GOOD ACTRESS
Never what? Wanted to betray me? Never wanted me to find out? What? Tell me!
GOOD ACTOR
I never wanted it to go this far. I just—
GOOD ACTRESS
Wanted a one time shot?
GOOD ACTOR
Please, Melanie, let me talk! I never wanted it to happen in the first place! It was after the…
GOOD ACTRESS
Oh. You knew?
GOOD ACTOR
How could I not? He was so nice, so polite. You were both so considerate to each other and to me. It was plainly obvious that you’d—
GOOD ACTRESS
Oh, Robert. How did you—
GOOD ACTOR
How did you know, Melanie? We’re connected. We’re—
GOOD ACTRESS
A mess.
GOOD ACTOR
Yeah.
BOTH
I did it to punish you!
GOOD ACTRESS
I thought—
GOOD ACTOR
So did I—
BOTH
Oh, God!
GOOD ACTOR
Now what?
GOOD ACTRESS
I don’t know. I… I… But I need you—
GOOD ACTOR
To bounce things off of. Me too.
GOOD ACTRESS
Who else can I—
GOOD ACTOR
Tell things to. And now we have no secrets. Can we—?
GOOD ACTRESS
I don’t know. I hope—
GOOD ACTOR
Me too.
They embrace. There is silence.
THE MAN
Oh. Excellent. I wish I could tell you how much your performance meant to me but there’s still so much to do.
GOOD ACTRESS
There’s more?
THE MAN
You have no idea.
GOOD ACTOR
All right. We’ll be off then. Good night.
GOOD ACTRESS
Yeah. Thanks again.
They exit. THE MAN turns to the BAD ACTORS and retrieves a handgun from the briefcase. He then un-gags the actors.
BAD ACTRESS
Is that how—?
BAD ACTOR
I had no idea...
THE MAN
Of course you had no idea! You are idiots. Whoever told you you could act should be—
BAD ACTOR
But it wasn’t all our fault!
BAD ACTRESS
The director—
THE MAN
Don’t say that! Don’t call him that! He doesn’t deserve to be called that!
He uncovers the person in the third chair as he speaks. The BAD ACTORS gasp.
BAD ACTOR & BAD ACTRESS
Mr. Lawn!
THE MAN
Oh yes. You don’t think I would break up that great team that RUINED my play two years ago in this very theatre? On this very night!? No. Mr. Lawn isn’t worthy to see acting like you just experienced but he will get to see what could be your final performance. Unless, by chance, you’re good.
BAD ACTRESS
What?
BAD ACTOR
I don’t get it.
THE MAN
No, I don’t think you do. You will both have one chance to redeem yourselves. You have seen how real actors do it. Now you will please act the scene. Do it well – even three percent as well as you have seen – and you live. Do what you did to this play in this hall on this night to years ago and you all die.
BAD ACTRESS
Mr. Lawn too?
BAD ACTOR
But what did he do?
THE MAN
He cast you! And if you don’t act as well as you can. Better than you ever have in your miserable lives. Then he will have the pleasure of seeing you die on stage. Again.
He unties the BAD ACTORS who begin the scene.
They leave nice pauses for each other. They saw the air. They say only the lines and then as if they “acted” them. It is a mercy killing when THE MAN has had enough.
BAD ACTOR
How can you—?
BAD ACTRESS
You have to ask?
BAD ACTOR
Of course I have to ask. You—
BAD ACTRESS
Me? We’re talking about you and your—
BAD ACTOR
My What? You have no proof—
BAD ACTRESS
Proof? Who needs proof, when I can see it in your eyes! I can see it in your body language, Robert. How do you think I feel when you hold me in your arms and she’s in your thoughts? When you make love to her while it’s my body you hold?
BAD ACTOR
You knew? All along?
BAD ACTRESS
Of course, Robert!
BAD ACTOR
But how, Melanie? I never—
BAD ACTRESS
Never what? Wanted to betray me? Never wanted me to find out? What? Tell me!
BAD ACTOR
I never wanted it to go this far. I just—
BAD ACTRESS
Wanted a one time shot?
BAD ACTOR
Please, Melanie, let me talk! I never wanted it to happen in the first place! It was after the…
BAD ACTRESS
Oh. You knew?
BAD ACTOR
How could I not? He was so nice, so polite. You were both so considerate to each other and to me. It was plainly obvious that you’d—
BAD ACTRESS
Oh, Robert. How did you—
BAD ACTOR
How did you know, Melanie? We’re connected. We’re—
BAD ACTRESS
A mess.
BAD ACTOR
Yeah.
BOTH
I did it to punish you!
BAD ACTRESS
I thought—
BAD ACTOR
So did I—
BOTH
Oh, God!
BAD ACTOR
Now what?
BAD ACTRESS
I don’t know. I… I… But I need you—
BAD ACTOR
To bounce things off of. Me too.
BAD ACTRESS
Who else can I—
BAD ACTOR
Tell things to. And now we have no secrets. Can we—?
BAD ACTRESS
I don’t know. I hope—
BAD ACTOR
Me too.
They embrace as the lights fade. A very loud, very real gunshot is heard. Enough to make the audience scream. Again.
NOTE: If done properly (properly badly), the second scene should take too long. It would be funny for the BAD ACTORS to die on “I did it to punish you” but, after a good run through, everyone should know on what line the lights should fade and the gunshot puts the audience out of their misery.
END
Thank you for attending the First Annual (Online) Play Festival. There are mugs and T-Shirts in the lobby.
January 12, 2011
To the person who keeps taking down my flyers
Dear Friend,
I call you friend because I believe that we are not all that different. If an alien came down to earth (or even from another country) he/she would have a hard time distinguishing between you and me. We both look a lot alike, we both sound and smell alike; the big difference is in how we think.
I think that people should love one another and have fun doing it. I think that people are basically good and that, left to their own devices, would choose to do good. I also think that it makes sense for everyone to get along and be happy regardless of what they believe; and that we are guaranteed certain rights simply by being members of the Human Race and the United States of America.
The country in which we have chosen to be neighbors allows us both to say what we think and feel. I have spoken in words and you have spoken in actions. Please consider using your words. I am easy to find and I look forward to speaking with you.
Sincerely,
Kevin Six
I call you friend because I believe that we are not all that different. If an alien came down to earth (or even from another country) he/she would have a hard time distinguishing between you and me. We both look a lot alike, we both sound and smell alike; the big difference is in how we think.
I think that people should love one another and have fun doing it. I think that people are basically good and that, left to their own devices, would choose to do good. I also think that it makes sense for everyone to get along and be happy regardless of what they believe; and that we are guaranteed certain rights simply by being members of the Human Race and the United States of America.
The country in which we have chosen to be neighbors allows us both to say what we think and feel. I have spoken in words and you have spoken in actions. Please consider using your words. I am easy to find and I look forward to speaking with you.
Sincerely,
Kevin Six
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